My brother and I went to dinner Friday night. Smash Burger. Which is just like how it sounds.

I asked him to dinner for a specific purpose. He’s pretty serious about his girlfriend of a year and a half so I wanted to have a conversation about marriage. I’m no expert, having only been married four years, but I know maybe one or two important things about it. My brother is a thinker so I knew he would appreciate a conversation based upon such an intentional abstract thesis.

I ate a bleu cheese burger and said general things about what marriage is. It’s hard to explain to someone who isn’t married/cohabitating. Dating is nothing like marriage. We think of dating as like a dress rehearsal for marriage, a natural precursor, but dating is a game played via socially implicit rules of human theatrics. We put on our best face. We smile when we normally wouldn’t, and do cute things when we normally wouldn’t.

Marriage isn’t like that. In marriage it isn’t just the best foot forward, it’s all the feet forward. All the BS fades. You come to terms with who you really are.

We ate burgers and talked for three hours until our throats became sore.


© Daniel Douglas


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